The Unofficial Smiley Dictionary

:-)   Your basic smiley. This smiley is used to inflect a sarcastic or
      joking statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix. 
;-)   Winky smiley. User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark.
      More of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smiley.
:-(   Frowning smiley. User did not like that last statement or is upset
      or depressed about something.
:-I   Indifferent smiley. Better than a Frowning smiley but not quite as
      good as a happy smiley
:->   User just made a really biting sarcastic remark. Worse than a :-).
>:->  User just made a really devilish remark.
>;->  Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made.

(-:   User is left handed
%-)   User has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight
:*)   User is drunk
[:]   User is a robot
8-)   User is wearing sunglasses
B:-)  Sunglasses on head
::-)  User wears normal glasses
B-)   User wears horn-rimmed glasses
&^)   Left nosed smiley with glasses
8:-)  User is a little girl
:-)-8 User is a Big girl
:-{)  User has a mustache
:-{}  User wears lipstick
{:-)  User wears a toupee
}:-(  Toupee in an updraft
:-[   User is a Vampire
:-E   Bucktoothed vampire
:-F   Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing
:-7   User just made a wry statement
:-*   User just ate something sour
:-)~  User drools
:-~)  User has a cold
:'-(  User is crying
:'-)  User is so happy, s/he is crying
:-@   User is screaming
:-#   User wears braces
:^)   User has a broken nose
:v)   User has a broken nose, but it's the other way
:_)   User's nose is sliding off of his face
:<)   User is from an Ivy League School
:-&   User is tongue tied.
=:-)  User is a hosehead
- -:-)  User is a punk rocker
- -:-(  (real punk rockers don't smile)
:=)   User has two noses
+-:-) User is the Pope or holds some other religious office
`:-)  User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning
,:-)  Same thing...other side
|-I   User is asleep
|-O   User is yawning/snoring
:-Q   User is a smoker
:-?   User smokes a pipe
O-)   Megaton Man On Patrol!  (or else, user is a scuba diver)
O :-) User is an angel (at heart, at least)
:-P   Nyahhhh!
:-S   User just made an incoherent statement
:-D   User is laughing (at you!)
:-X   User's lips are sealed
:-C   User is really bummed
<|-)  User is Chinese
<|-(  User is Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes
:-/   User is skeptical
C=:-) User is a chef
@=    User is pro-nuclear war
*<:-) User is wearing a Santa Claus Hat
:-o   Uh oh!
(8-o  It's Mr. Bill!
*:o)  And Bozo the Clown!
3:]   Pet smiley
3:[   Mean Pet smiley
d8=   Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat.
E-:-) User is a Ham radio operator
:-9   User is licking his/her lips
%-6   User is braindead
[:-)  User is wearing a walkman
(:I   User is an egghead
<:-I  User is a dunce
K:P   User is a little kid with a propeller beenie
@:-)  User is wearing a turban
:-0   No Yelling!  (Quiet Lab)
:-:   Mutant Smiley
      The invisible smiley
.-)   User only has one eye
,-)   Ditto...but he's winking
X-(   User just died 
8 :-) User is a wizard
C=}>;*{))  Mega-Smiley... A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin

 
:)  Midget smiley
:]  Gleep...a friendly midget smiley who will gladly be your friend
=)  Variation on a theme...
:} - What should we call these? (what?)
:) - Happy
:> - what?
:@ - what?
:D - Laughter
:I - Hmmm...
:( - Sad
:[ - Real Downer
:< - what?
:{ - what?
:O - Yelling
:C - what?
:Q - what?
:'( - Crying
[] - Hugs and
:* - Kisses
|I - Asleep
|^o -Snoring
:-`   smiley spitting out its chewing tobacco
:-1   smiley bland face
:-!       "
:-@   smiley face screaming
:-#|  smiley face with bushy mustache
:-$   smiley face with it's mouth wired shut
:-%   smiley banker
:-6   smiley after eating something sour
:^)   smiley with pointy nose (righty)
:-7   smiley after a wry statement
8-)   smiley swimmer
:-0   smiley orator
(:-(  unsmiley frowning
(:-)  smiley big-face
):-)      "
):-(  unsmiley big-face
)8-)  scuba smiley big-face
=:-)  smiley punk-rocker
=:-(  (real punk rockers don't smile)
+:-)  smiley priest
:-q   smiley trying to touch its tongue to its nose
:-e   disappointed smiley
:-t   cross smiley
:-i   semi-smiley
:-o   smiley singing national anthem
:-p   smiley sticking its tongue out (at you!)
:-[   un-smiley blockhead
:-]   smiley blockhead
:-{   smiley variation on a theme
:-}   ditto
{:-)  smiley with its hair parted in the middle
}:-)  above in an updraft
:-a   lefty smiley touching tongue to nose
:-s   smiley after a BIZARRE comment
:-d   lefty smiley razzing you
g-)   smiley with ponce-nez glasses
:-j   left smiling smiley
:-k   beats me, looks like something, tho.
:-l   y. a. s.
:-\   undecided smiley
:-|   "have an ordinary day" smiley
;-)   winking smiley
:-<   real sad smiley
:->   y.a.s.
:-z   y.a.c.s.
:-x   "my lips are sealed" smiley
:-c   bummed out smiley
:-v   talking head smiley
:v)   left-pointing nose smiley
:-b   left-pointing tongue smiley
:-/   lefty undecided smiley
.-]   one-eyed smilely
 ,-}   wry and winking 
0-)   smiley cyclops (scuba diver?)
:-=)  older smiley with mustache
:u)   smiley with funny-looking left nose
:n)   smiley with funny-looking right nose
:<    midget unsmiley
:>    midget smiley
}:^#})  mega-smiley:  updrafted bushy-mustached pointy nosed smiley with a double-chin  
:-) ha ha
|-) hee hee        
|-D ho ho
:-> hey hey         
:-( boo hoo           
:-I hmm         
:-O uh oh           
:-P nyah nyah       
|-P yuk
:-)} beard
:-{) mustache
:-{)} beard and mustache
:-# braces
:-)X bow tie
:-Q smoker
<:I dunce
(:I egghead
@:I turban
:-8(    condescending stare
;-) wink
>:-<   mad  
X-(    dead smiley
>:-I   startrek smiley
3:o[   pet smiley
3:8]   bull smiley
!@#$H%E&:) Dr. Seuss smiley

Drama :-(   
Comedy :-)  
Surprise :-o
Suspense 8-|

|-O  Birth
8-#  Death
8    infinity