How can I Help?

• December 1992
  "Can you tell me what channel the Seahawks are on?"
• January 1993
  "How much snow can you have on your roof?"
• February 1993
  "When I call 976-7277 (Oregon Highway Conditions), how do I know which highway it is if I don't have the highway number?"
• March 1993
  "I want a newspaper with a TV Guide in it."
• April 1993
  "What time is tee time at Hood River Golf Club?"
• May 1993
  "Do I get a bounty if I turn my wife in on a warrant?"
• June 1993 (tie)
  "Do you know anyone who sells Tupperware?"
  "My son can't go to court because he has sunburn."
• July 1993
  "Will you send an officer to talk to a lady whose husband doesn't love her anymore?"
• August 1993
  "I just got fired....I want you to get my job back for me."
• September 1993
  "Someone let their dog go poop in the ladies' restroom and I want something done about it."
• October 1993
  "Do you have to wear a seatbelt while hunting?"
• November 1993
  "Is the football game cancelled?"
• December 1993
  "What does spots of ice mean?"
• January 1994
  "How do I keep the neighbors peacock from crapping on my front porch? They are dirty birds."
• February 1994
  "How do I sanitize my car seat after someone had an accident?"
• March 1994
  "This truck has been speeding all the way from Portland. I had to go 70 Mph to pass him."
• April 1994
  "Where is the Umatilla High School prom being held?"
• May 1994
  "How high can an eagle fly"
• June 1994
  "Do I call the police to get my water turned on?"
• July 1994
  "Is it against the law to transport horse manure across state lines?"
• August 1994 (3-way tie, a Banner month)
  "I am going from Umatilla to Biggs Jct, but now I am in Baker City. What did I do and where am I?"
  "Last May a car I was following was involved in an accident. Can you tell me how fast I was going?"
  "I am locked in a lumber yard and everyone has left for the weekend."
• September 1994 (4-way tie, another banner month. Maybe it's the water)
  "Someone told me if I put 'No Trespassing' signs up that I could be prosecuted for hunting on my own property."
  "I have a number I want you to trace because my wife is cheating on me."
  "I'm calling about the dance tonight....I thought OSP could tell me."
  "There is a white patrol vehicle at Hwy 395/Hwy 31 with an officer slumped over the wheel. We tapped on the window with no response, and he had a smile on his face."(County speed deterrent dummy deputy)

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  quixote@toysmakeuspowerful.com